The worst movies I’ve ever seen
These days I don’t often watch a bad movie all the way to the end, but there was a time when I did. I’m sure I’ve seen other terrible movies in my life, but these are the ones that stick out in my mind as being shockingly horrible.
Worst of the Worst
The Man Who Fell to Earth
It’s been a while, but my memory says this movie is all pointless drinking and sex.
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
This movie was so stupid I would have left the theatre, but my friend was enjoying it more than I was.
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
The first two Pirates movies were fun — this one was not. It was also extremely confusing.
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
The first two prequels were bad but at least had some redeeming qualities. This movie was boring and pointless. Anakin’s transition to Darth Vader was not believable.
Dishonourable Mentions
The Crow
Senseless violence. I thought it might be interesting since it was directed by Alex Proyas — it wasn’t.
Highlander
Senseless violence. Even the presence of Sean Connery couldn’t rescue this garbage.
Jumanji
Robin Williams made a bunch of great movies — this isn’t one of them. It’s not funny, just silly.
Krull
Just a series of fantasy clichés.
The Matrix Revolutions
The first movie was brilliant, the second was mediocre — this one took another giant step downward. For a movie set in the future, it felt strangely old fashioned.
Sleeper
Woody Allen in the future — this may have been funny in 1973 but it’s not funny now. Unless you like slapstick.
Total Recall
Senseless violence. The last movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger I watched before I decided to boycott his movies.
Under the Skin
Some critics like this movie for some reason. I don’t see why — you have to make up your own story while you’re watching it.